By Eshin Brenda Shoshanna

Some people are unable to feel full and complete. They crave so much that no matter what they have, they cannot be satisfied. This is called being a hungry ghost, run by the affliction of greed. When hungry ghosts are invited to a banquet, they sample everything and eat it up, but cannot taste, savor, or digest the delicious meal in front of them. No matter what they eat, they are left hungrier than before.

Similarly, when hungry ghosts are invited to the banquet of life, they cannot taste or digest their experiences. Hungry ghosts can be hungry for food, love, money, recognition, anything. Whatever they receive, they want more.

Hungry ghosts do not realize that it is greed that causes the pain. And the more they grasp, the more they crush whatever they have in the palm of their hand. As we learn to let go, rather than feed our cravings, the hunger and dissatisfaction will start to subside.

The Disease of the Mind

To separate what we like
From what we dislike
Is the disease of the mind.

—Zen Master Sosan

As we feed our cravings, we become controlled by the desire to cling to whatever feels good and reject whatever feels threatening. When we find what we like, we become attached; when we find what we dislike, we use all our power to push it away. Thus, we spend our precious life energy discarding half our experience, and grasping at and clinging to the rest.
Living this way, we become completely dependent on external conditions for our sense of well-being. A sunny day will make us happy, but as soon as thunderstorms arrive our happiness is gone. The same is true in our relationships, where so-called love and hate fluctuate wildly.
Like a leaf blowing in the wind, we can’t relax, we are always anticipating what will come next. Because people and conditions constantly change, we have no idea what we can hold on to or where to find true satisfaction.

A student went to his meditation teacher and said, “My meditation is horrible, I feel so distracted, my legs ache, and I am constantly falling asleep.”

“It will pass,” the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. “My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive!”

“It will pass,” the teacher said matter-of-factly, again.

—Zen teaching

We may think something painful is bad for us, and something that feels good is positive. But this is not so. We may be rejecting something that could be meaningful because it makes us uneasy initially. We may be staying attached to something that is harmful, simply because it is familiar. It’s impossible to realize what is truly beneficial when we live in this way. As Kyozan Joshu Sasaki Roshi has said, the great gift of zazen is to be able to hold all the world in the palm of our hands.
What is it that you chase after and hold on to? What is it that you routinely avoid, reject, or hide from? Can you see what a toll this takes on you? Does this way of being bring comfort, safety, or happiness? Be honest with yourself. That’s all that’s needed, honesty.

When we begin to let go, to open our hands, minds, and hearts, we reverse this age-old pattern. We begin to see that what we like or dislike is not a measure of anything. We cannot build our lives around it. We often dislike something because we know nothing about it and recoil from something that may be entirely good. Beyond that, our likes and dislikes are constantly changing. One day, something that we adore may cause us to recoil.

As you undertake the task to live a life of true satisfaction, do not separate what you like from what you dislike; don’t chase after one thing and reject another. Instead, slowly open your mind and hands to everything.

Open Hands

When Dogen, a great Zen master, was young, he went to China to study Zen. Dogen spent many years there, and then undertook the dangerous journey back to Japan. When he reached his homeland, many people had heard about him and came to see him. When they asked him what he had learned during all those years in the monastery, he said, “I came back with nothing but empty hands.”
Empty hands are precious. When our hands are empty, not grasping, they become supple and available. They can feel, they can touch, reach out to others, give and accept gifts in return. Dogen’s open hands were available to all of life. He was not holding on to what he liked and pushing away the rest. He was willing to accept and be with it all.
Empty your hands. What are you holding on to tightly? Can you open your hands for a moment and let it go? Can you stop grasping that which you desire and pushing away what may not feel good? See yourself opening your hands and allowing something to go. See yourself opening a fist you may have clenched to fight or reject part of life. Stop fighting and allow everything to be as it is, including yourself.