By Jikyo Bonnie Shoultz Sensei
In April and May, articles by Yuki Eric Michels and Michael Fayne asked us to look at our own mortality and the impermanence of all things. Their approaches are the “same yet different,” hitting on both the absolute and relative truth. Yuki asked us not to be lulled by our awareness of impermanence but instead to “continue questioning the things we are not taught to question, and especially the things we are taught not to question.” Michael reminded us that “through a loving engagement with all things, we can see with amazement the miracle and transcendent value of each life, each name, each body, and each moment.”
Even if we don’t fear death, even if we feel we are clear about impermanence, something within us encourages us to look away from writings about death. At age 82, I find the same to be true when we regard aging. As a woman in the later stages of life, it can be confusing…is today’s loss of mental clarity or physical energy going to last? Does my practice mean just accepting what I notice in myself? Can I continue to question what I experience and at the same time embrace lovingly that which I uncover, whether in myself or the social environment?
Aging also makes me reflect on how I can continue to engage with the apparent injustices and suffering in the world. I worked in prisons and jails for many years, as an advocate in the 1970s and as a Buddhist volunteer from 2005-2020. The pandemic lockdown stopped that work, and by the time things opened up, I was in my early 80s. Even if I had started up again, I knew it wouldn’t last many more years.
I was also involved in anti-violence work, as a board member of OGs Against Violence, a local organization founded by a man doing bodhisattva work in the streets of Syracuse. Every day, he intervened personally to stop shootings, knifings, and fights, all the while showing love and care to everyone affected, even those who were engaged in violence. When board elections came around, I stepped down to leave a slot for a younger person, preferably someone from the neighborhoods he worked in.
For an aging person who still wants to contribute, I’ve found the book The Engaged Spiritual Life by Donald Rothberg (Beacon Press, 2006) provides suggestions. He reminded me that I have felt called to do work that addresses injustice and supports those most impacted by it for most of my life. I still feel that calling, but I meet it in different ways now. I can join an organization led by people with very different lives than mine and stay with it if they accept me. I can work with an interfaith coalition that addresses social issues. I can become more aware of the needs of others in my own Buddhist community. The options are endless if I just pay attention to others and am honest with myself about what I can bring to the needs I am finding. It is both continuing to question, as Yuki urges, and finding ways to engage with love, as Michael Fayne advises.