By Hokuto Osho
in deepest shadow
sleep takes me ever deeper
dreaming of fireflies
evening dragonflies
skimming the pond—advance scouts
in firefly country
fireflies know no fences
free to create their own light
they share it with all
Article – A Letter to the New York Zendo Sangha
By Giun Stefan Streit Sensei
Many or most of you probably know that my wife and I had a baby daughter on April 21st. Her name is Heidi, and we’ve been relishing the opportunity to get to know her and her smile over these past few months. Many of you have asked me how it’s been going, and my first instinct is to say something like, “Well, it depends what moment you’re talking about.” Some moments are adorable or wonderful; some moments are frustrating or exhausting. Each of these moments is real. I am willing to say this much, though: Heidi’s entry into our lives has revealed to me parts of my heart that I didn’t know were there.
That said, the real reason for writing this message is to say, “Thank You!” So many of you, our Dharma family, have given us gifts or sent us cards & emails or brought us food or sent gift certificates… Meave and I have been positively overwhelmed by all the generosity and support this sangha has shown us, in honor of this lil’ child. There have been so many gifts and messages that it has been utterly impossible to thank each of you individually. Please know that we are very grateful!
I wish also to heartily thank Muken Sensei for gracefully and seamlessly assuming the role of temple director during my absence. It has been wonderfully reassuring for me to know that Shobo-ji has been enjoying such good care and guidance while I have been immersing myself in the steep learning curve of early parenthood. In the coming weeks, Muken and I will be discussing how we plan to share the various responsibilities of caring for the temple, going forward.
Moreover, any “vacuum” left by my absence has been more than filled by various sangha members who have stepped up to learn new officer roles and to serve as practice leaders during the past four months – especially during the times when Muken was on the mountain to support events at DBZ. Thank you to those of you who have taken on greater responsibility as stewards of the temple.
I have found it highly gratifying to see the sangha evolve in this way.
Now as I return from paternity leave and we feel the crisp foreshadowing of autumn in the air, attention turns to the events of the fall. Chigan Roshi has kindly agreed to lead a Baby Welcoming ceremony for our daughter in conjunction with Shobo-ji’s 56th Anniversary Weekend Sesshin in September. I look forward to the chance to formally introduce Heidi to the sangha in this way.
In addition to our Anniversary Sesshin, there are several other notable events coming up this autumn. Please see the events listed below and stay tuned for other announcements. Thank you all for your warm and joyful support. I look forward to seeing you again soon.
Article – Do Not Be Confused By Your Confusion
By Eshin Brenda Shoshanna
“Do not be confused by your confusion.”
–Soen Nakagawa Roshi
Confusion swirls around everywhere. Our words fly past one another. People talk at cross purposes. It is difficult to really listen to one another or separate truth from lies. Games replace reality. Many lose touch with their authentic selves, living instead in a world of assumptions that bring no peace or fulfillment. Much of what we believe to be set in stone vanishes.
Relationships alter and for many their sense of safety and security is destabilized. Zen teachings have always told us that we live our lives steeped in delusion, unable to tell the sour from the sweet, or separate medicine from poison. Often we depend upon friends or teachers, who we later discover are more confused than we are. Where can we turn to dependable guidance? How can we navigate these choppy waters? Where can we find a safe harbor during times of need?
What Can We Truly Depend On?
It is said that times of danger and rapid change are the best times in which to grow. Though painful, these times offer an urgent opportunity to discover our true life compass, to find something real.
Yet confusion is also dispiriting and can stop us from moving forward. The great Zen Master Soen Nakagawa Roshi, told us that to find our footing, we must move forward in the midst of chaos.
“Do not be confused by your confusion,” he said. What he meant was: do not be confused by feelings that arise and depart. Enjoy your confusion and make friends with it, but don’t take it seriously. Look at the confusion and have a good laugh. The confusion is trying to pull you into its web, but you do not have to be trapped.
There is a deeper wisdom within us that goes beyond all the conflicting phenomena that come our way. Know that confusion is simply another dream trying to knock us off our feet.
An Echo of the Wind
Where is this deeper wisdom and how do we find it? We start by not allowing passing feelings, including confusion, to hold sway over our lives. Just be aware of what is happening, and then take the next step. Kinhin is a wonderful teacher for that. We continue to take one step and then another, no matter what we think or feel. Each step is a new moment and experience. “This Moment Will Not Come Again.”
Give passing feelings no power over you. Realize that they are no more than the echo of the wind. Depending upon endlessly shifting phenomena will only make you more confused. Sit down and let your confusion arise and let it pass. Then your true direction will make itself known. “Do not be confused by your confusion” is a pointer about how to wake up from distress.
Just See Confusion as Confusion
There is nothing intrinsically wrong with confusion. Just step back and see confusion as confusion. Don’t believe what it tells you or give it power over your life. Just like thunderclouds, it will inevitably pass. Confusion is natural. When seen simply as a passing phenomenon, it’s easy to realize that confusion is not who we intrinsically are. We don’t have to stay in it forever. There is a way out.
There Is a Way Out
When we do not wake up out of the spell created by confusion, it can claim our lives and turn us into ghosts haunting valleys and trees. We are not really alive, we can’t see what is in front of us. This leads not only to danger but to loneliness and heartache.
The great Zen teacher, Dogen, returned from China after years of hard practice. He was greeted in Japan when he returned and asked what he had discovered. His answer was simple, “My eyebrows are horizontal, my nose is vertical.”
My Eyebrows Are Horizontal, My Nose Is Vertical
Such an amazing discovery. Why does it take us years and years to realize this? Dogen is telling us that he was able to see things just as they are. He added nothing to what he saw. He wasn’t better than someone else because of it, or worse. When you see things just as they are, and allow them to be that way, what happens to confusion? An important point is that we must be willing to allow things to be as they are, then it is much easier to see them.
Life Is One Continuous Mistake
Dogen also said, “Life is one continuous mistake.” We are tormented by the mistakes we think we’ve made and play them over and over again in our minds. Yet right now, right here, as we sit quietly and observe, where are the mistakes we made?
As we sit quietly and look within, even though we may be sitting next to one another, we are all sitting in our own worlds. As we breathe one breath together, our mistakes may arise again and again. But where are they, really? Only in our mind. As we practice with the mistakes, notice them, and let them go their way, each time the mistakes reappear, they will be weaker and dimmer than before. When we have absorbed them completely and received whatever nourishment and instruction they have for us, they will disappear.
Rather than try to figure out mistakes, or punish ourselves for them, in zazen we simply keep watching them. Then, not only will new insights arrive, but one day the so-called mistake will be absorbed completely.
You Cannot Make a Mistake
Making a mistake can be terrifying. We live our lives in fear that we’re not doing things correctly. Deep down we’re always saying, “What happens if I make a mistake?” In zazen you cannot make a mistake. When you sit on the cushion you can’t do anything wrong! Whatever comes, comes. Whatever goes, goes. It happens naturally, on its own. Whatever appears is perfect in the moment. Of course, when we realize this, it’s a huge relief. But wait a minute! You also can’t do anything right either. Again, it’s all happening on its own.
Who decides what is right or wrong? Take a moment to notice what would have happened in your life if that so-called mistake never took place. You wouldn’t be the person you are now. Like it or not, something would be missing.
Making the Rock Garden Perfect
A high official was coming to visit a Zen monastery. All the monks worked feverishly to make it perfect. The floors were polished, windows washed and leaves in the beautiful rock garden carefully swept away. All was in order.
The Zen Master watched all that went on. After the work was completed, he quickly climbed to the roof carrying a bag of old autumn leaves. Once on the roof, he opened the bag and let the leaves drift down over the immaculate rock garden.
“Ah,” said the Zen Master, “now it’s truly perfect.”
We fear natural changes and fight chaos and the seeming disorder that appears in our lives. Immediately, we want to clean things up, get rid of debris, organize, and impose order on things. Yet when the wind blows in our direction and tosses leaves all over our well-ordered lives, this too, is perfection. Life is happening as it must. Look at the perfection, don’t be too quick to sweep the leaves away. Live with what has flown into your life and what it shows you. And remember, soon the wind will blow the leaves another way.
Before great clarity, chaos or confusion can appear. Confusion is fundamentally our friend. Our entire need to see clearly is fueled by the confusion we feel. We actually know the truth every moment, we just don’t want to accept it. When we accept it we see that all is an intrinsic, living part of reality. No need to join the mad, whirling mind. Let reality be reality. Let yourself be who you truly are.
Poetry – Summer’s Abode
By Shikan Max Irukara
summer springs like flowers pushing up amongst the dirt
sunny days come raining down adrift a sea of clouds
wo weilest du?
Poetry – Sesshin
By Jigen Paul Willis
The translator suppressed a smile
as the Zen master explained.
For thirty years he taught the Dharma
as he had been ordained.
But his Japanese was badly rusted
and his English very poor,
and he told us all calmly that
he really doesn’t speak
much of any language
anymore.
Poetry – Zazen
By Keigetsu CM Brown
We sit in silence, eating our breakfast.
The shapes of tables,
the shapes of eyes and arms,
the shapes of wooden chairs,
the shape of the walls,
all are still and listening.
I walk into the kitchen with
my empty bowl and place it
in the sink. I too am a shape.
I change as I move.
I am a shape that shifts.
I pass into another blue morning
that flows over the tops of the trees.
The stars and the half-moon
gradually fade into light as
this body, that I mistakenly call
“me,” sits down on the black cushion.
I have no ambition.
The shadows of the evergreens
flow along the brown pine needles.
Shadows have no ambition
and I listen as silence returns.
Always a returning;
a body, a thought, a cough,
a silence.
And the round bell on the Zendo floor
is calling us home again;
home to the shape of space that has
never left, nor has it ever arrived.
Can you ever arrive where you
already are?